


Accidentally Married

by VonPelt



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Marriage, F/M, First Time, Marriage Contracts, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 07:49:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16512236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VonPelt/pseuds/VonPelt
Summary: When her father wanted to sell Pansy off like cattle, she decided to take matters in her own hands. With unexpected results.





	Accidentally Married

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted from FFN

Harry Potter sat in the Hogwarts library, his hair still wet from the shower after the last Quidditch practice. He was surrounded by tall stacks of parchment, open books and his notes from class, desperately trying to catch up with his homework. Snape had given them a foot-long essay on silent casting, Dumbledore's lessons demanded his time and the attack on Katie left him short a chaser and missing the most experienced player of Gryffindor. Due to this workload, he was not in a state to do anything and consequently, the assignments had piled up. Harry just finished the essay on Charm variations when the telltale pressure of a silencing ward popped his ears.

Something was definitely amiss since Hermione, the only person who came to this remote corner, had prefect rounds tonight and did not like to cast spells in the library. However, the answer to that mystery revealed herself after a moment. A spectral shadow turned solid and before he could react, Pansy Parkinson sat down on the far side of his table.

"You!"

"Very astute observation Potter," the Slytherin replied with dripping sarcasm.

"Come here to gloat?"

"No Potter - Harry. I came here with a proposition. I need your help and I think that you will be quite happy to help me."

Harry was surprised by her sudden shift from ice-cold-bitch to friendly conversationalist. Her tone was kind and far softer than he had expected from Malfoy's girlfriend. Then again, it's not like they had actually ever talked for more than five insults. And since there were no curses flying and his curiosity was sufficiently roused, the Gryffindor decided to actually hear her request.

"Help you?"

"You see, I find myself in the unpleasant situation of being trapped in a marriage contract with very few ways out."

"Marriage contract?" He was caught off guard by her bluntness and it clearly showed on his face. "That's actually a thing?"

"Yes, a tradition still kept by Britain's most noble families," she said with enough disdain to make Harry wonder if there wasn't a dementor nearby. He briefly checked the glass of water to make sure it wasn't frozen. "I was raised to accept that kind of thing since I understood the word marriage. And if it was with someone like, let's say Cedric Diggory or even Terry Boot, we wouldn't be speaking right now. I could even deal with Malfoy, if not for  _HIS_  return."

"You would do that?" Harry's question was vague because he couldn't quite wrap his head around the whole concept of arranged marriages. Why would anyone hate their child so much to force them into a loveless marriage as part of some kind of business deal? Come to think of it, hadn't Padma mentioned that it was a common practice in India after a DA meeting last year?

"Magic isn't just sunshine and roses, I have known that for a long time. And quite a few of these contracts turn into love over the years. But if the husband is - " Pansy, and Harry was surprised that he was thinking of her as Pansy and not as Parkinson, trailed off, her voice failing her. He had to admit, with the right person, such a fate wouldn't be too bad. Hell, if he had to choose a bride right now it would undoubtedly be Hermione. Not because he wanted to rip her clothes off and do unspeakable things to his friend, but because he knew that they'd get along. Well, at least better than with anybody else. But to be married to someone he utterly despised - It was difficult to keep his dinner down when the faces of Snape and Umbridge came to his mind.

"When my father told me that he arranged for a contract with Malfoy, I thought that it wouldn't be too bad. I could run, or even go through with it, bear the occasional visit and, as the Muggle say,  _lay back and think of the Empire_ , while otherwise enjoying the benefits of a stupid husband who is stupidly rich."

"I sense a  _but_  coming - "

"I wasn't to be Malfoy's wife, that honour would go to one of the Greengrass girls, while I would merely be the concubine, the second wife, nothing more than a broodmare and plaything for him. There were no clauses about proper accommodations for me, no escape clause or - "

"Second wife? That's - That's a thing?"

"Under special circumstances, it is entirely possible to have more than one wife. The marriage contract isn't between me and Malfoy, it is between me and the heir of House Black. Malfoy's mother is the last living Black. Which makes Draco the heir presumptive and allows him more than one wife to keep the families apart."

"Sirius?" Harry blurted out and his heart gave a sudden lurch at the memory of his godfather.

"Sirius Black is irrelevant since he had been in Azkaban. If you end up there, your inheritance is forfeit, no exceptions - But back to the matter at hand. Since this was not to be a simple marriage contract but a gracious gift for the pureblood cause, to gain the Dark Lord's favour. Draco had been insufferable ever since, saying that he'd claim what was his, making obscene hand gestures, or trying to talk me into blowing him. And with his mission here - "

"I - Wow.  _Wow_ \- This, this is a new low for him. I mean, I knew that he was a sick, bastard after the Buckbeak episode, but rape - "

"It's not rape, it is a century-old, Ministry-protected custom which - "

"Forcing yourself on a woman is rape, simple as that. I grew up in a - I grew up in less than ideal circumstances, and even I know that. If the Ministry allows, or even encourages such a thing then we are talking about a whole new level of wrongness, even after Umbridge."

Pansy let the point slide. "Either way, the good side here is that you can only be subject to one contract and I'm here because I need  _your_  help to deal with this  _issue_."

"You want Malfoy dead? Get him to the aqueduct and I'll take care of him. You say he's got a mission from Voldemort? Then it's basically our duty to stop him from carrying it out, by any means necessary. Of course, it would be easier if we do this at night - Maybe make it look like an accident -"

"As tempting as that idea is, it wouldn't help me much."

Pansy had grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Harry was distracted by the softness and warmth of her skin, which quelled any murder plans he was considering. It also stopped him from accidentally breaking her privacy wards from the inside. Instead, he now stared right at her, confusion and residual anger mixed on his face.

She found it quite endearing how far Harry was willing to go, but at the same time, he already hated her housemate with a passion and Malfoy doing something he considered rape was as good as excuses would get. "With Malfoy dead, the contract would be inherited by whoever is next in line, not invalidated. And I have no idea who the next one might be. I want out of that contract, not trading in Malfoy for some man old enough to be my grandfather."

"Why not marry and then divorce him?"

"A magical marriage is not just two signatures on a form but actually a bond between the spouses. The only way to break that, the only divorce, is death."

"Oh. So - What do you need me for?"

"The contract lacks the usual escape clauses, but - "

"Do you have the contract with you?"

"I have a copy - "

"Could I read it? Maybe there's a loophole - "

"There's only one way out, but amuse yourself."

* * *

Five minutes later, Harry once again struggled to keep his dinner down and the urge to strangle Malfoy at bay. Thinking about a marriage contract had been bad enough, but to read the cold, almost cynical language which doomed Pansy made him sick. Her father wrote the whole thing like a business transaction, describing his daughter like a merchant would praise his goods. "There's a loophole in this? It seems airtight to me - "

"I thought so at first, but look how to the contract refers to me."

"Pansy Parkinson? Why would you need me to change your name?"

"Potter," the Slytherin hissed, her patience apparently running out. It was the first time she had used his last name after getting over the stiffness of their greeting. "You cannot change your name in the magical world outside of marriage or inheritance any more than you can get a divorce."

"Oh - I didn't know that!"

"Obviously. And I meant the part before that."

"The virginal daughter of Cassius Parkinson and - "

"And that is my ticket to freedom."

"I - I don't understand."

"Morgana be damned, do I have to spell it all out? My  _father_  felt like boasting to the Dark Lord and so he added a clause which has includes my virginity as a requirement. This is not a regular clause because it creates an obvious loophole. If I'm no longer a virgin, this contract does not apply to me."

"You mean - ?"

"That I want to sleep with you to get out of being second best to one of the Greengrasses for the rest of my life?"

"Why me? I mean - I mean - " Harry's mind had gone blank at her request and conjured a series of images, each dirtier than the one before. "Surely there has to be someone with whom you would rather -  _do this_."

"Not after Malfoy got the mark. Not a lot of people like him, but no one would dare to go against him because doing so means inviting the Dark Lord's ire."

"What about your family? Surely - "

"Potter, you realise that my father is the reason we are having this conversation, right? The only family I cared about or would call that died when I was seven. My  _father_ , my  _stepmother_ , all those  _cousins_ , they are an unfortunate accident of lineage, not people I care about."

"Oh - "

"Yes, oh," Pansy snarled and took a deep breath. "Now, what's your answer?"

* * *

"The Room of Requirement?

"It's an amazing piece of magic - You can visit any place you can imagine without leaving Hogwarts. It doesn't even have to be real."

With that, she pushed the door open and stepped through, Harry right behind her. The castle became a dense forest where tall, evergreen trees dominated everything. A dense fog rose from their shadows and carried a pine scent which mixed with Pansy's orange one. Against all odds, they even complemented each other, and the result reminded Harry of Christmas. The room even had the sound down to the T, owls, sparrows and woodpeckers flew around and sang to their hearts' content. A stream ran through the underwood nearby and critters everywhere completed the picture.

They followed the path for a minute and Harry began to feel anxious. The longer they walked, the more he was reminded of the hall of prophecies and it felt like he was walking right into a Death Eater ambush. Forest noise was the only thing which broke the silence until they came to a clearing, golden leaves leaving a small splotch of a pink sky visible in the centre. Beneath that spot, a bed was woven into the mossy floor, the silken, green sheets and pillows barely a contrast to the surrounding nature.

Pansy stopped for a moment but began walking again after a harp began to play out of nowhere. Distracted by the soft music, Harry didn't notice what Pansy was doing until her robe hit the floor. She might not have been the first girl he had seen naked, Woods insistence on showering together as a team made sure of that, but he had never had one present herself like that.

"Well, get to it. I am on the potion so you have nothing to worry about - "

"Just like that?" Harry asked absently, his attention still on her bare chest. Her breasts were a little on the small side, but they were the most glorious thing he had ever seen and it took a lot of restraint to not outright latch onto them.

"What else are you waiting for, a written invitation?" Pansy snarled and brought his attention back to her face. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes no longer held a cold edge, but she was still very tense.

"It's just, I'm doing this for the first time as well, and several people have promised me a world of pain if I'd - Skip the preparations - "

"What?"

"Well, Katie's friend had a horrible first experience, so she decided to make sure that I wouldn't repeat the mistakes. Hermione overheard Parvati complain about the same problem and gave me a lecture together with some reading material. Then, my godfather wanted to give me  _The Talk_  but my aunt said that he wasn't up to the task and so she explained a couple of things to me," Harry babbled on, vividly remembering his mortification when Tonks had used her abilities to turn her hands into visual aids. She had really enjoyed watching him squirm and therefore made sure that no subject was left out, even if he was quite sure that he would never need the instructions for nipple clamps or paddles.

"Then get to it!"

"Can I kiss you?" the Gryffindor asked after a moment of thought. Truth be told, he was at a loss what to do, but given the circumstances, they would have to do it sooner rather than later and he had to ease her into it somehow.

From what Tonks had explained, in most cases he would be making out with the girl long before the clothes even came off, not have one commanding him to just stick it in before he even took his shoes off. And while her nude body was distracting, her demeanour had the same effect as a cold shower.

"If you must," Pansy replied curtly and Harry was reminded of Ron's tone before his first-ever match. He realised that the naked girl in front of him was more than a little afraid and had no idea if the prospect of sex, her overall situation with the contract or the fact that she was choosing Malfoy's rival was the cause for her nerves. The Gryffindor felt like he should do something about it.

Perhaps if had more experience he could have thought of a clever remark, thought of anything to calm her or would not have bothered at all. As it was, Harry could do nothing but stare at her nude body, trying to take in every detail. The four beauty spots on her hip, her grey eyes, the sharp edge of her nose. He vaguely remembered a pug-faced girl in Malfoy's shadow, but that had not been the same person who stood gloriously naked in front of him.

Slowly, he took a step forward and extended his hand until he touched her arm. The orange scent became even more predominant, supplemented by a spicy note. Her skin was even softer than on her hands and Pansy surprised them both by leaning into the contact. She wrapped her arms around him, burrowed her head in the crook of his neck and clung onto Harry like a drowning person to a liferaft.

"Are you sure that you - "

"Yes goddammit!"

Hesitantly at first, Harry returned the hug and leaned in to kiss her, first on the forehead, then on the lips. However, any plans to move further were put on hold when she began to kiss him back quite enthusiastically. It was unlike with Cho or whenever any of his teammates had kissed him after they had won a match. Pansy's tongue poked against his lips and the next thing he knew, his shirt was gone and cold fingernails raked his shoulder. The Slytherin couldn't stop herself from moaning when Harry moved down her throat and towards her collarbone.

Soon, the Gryffindor ended up in front of her breasts and began to explore every facet of them before moving past them and down her belly. His hands wandered lower and Pansy's skin became even smoother, undoubtedly the result of magic. Harry was well aware what a razor could achieve, but this went far beyond that. He came face to face with her core but before he could even get a good look, she shoved his mouth down where she wanted him.

Overall, Pansy stifled her moans and Harry could not have told that she liked what he was doing if not for the hands pressing him firmly against her clit.

Her muscles started to contract and she went rigid, her hips pushed into the air. Pansy made an odd sound when she came, somewhere between growl and grunt. It was decidedly unfeminine, yet it immediately became his favourite thing to listen to. Watching the entire scene from her crotch, Harry finally understood what Tonks had meant when she said that " _getting her ready"_  would " _get him ready as well"_. And with the final preparation out of the way, it was time to spoil another on Malfoy's plots.

* * *

Harry took a deep breath, his head buried in Pansy's neck and enjoying the scent of her soap together with something rawer, tangier - They had gone for three rounds and now a strand of black hair tickled his nose stopping him from falling asleep. He had a hand on her stomach, holding her flush against him and the Gryffindor relished their position. It was intimate, far more than what he would have expected going into the Room of Requirements or generally believed her capable of.

"Pansy?"

"Mmmm?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but why are you always such a bitch to everyone? I mean, you aren't half as bad as I had thought - "

He could feel the throaty laugh shaking her body, even it left him somewhat disappointed because she had wiggled herself out of his grip along the way.

"Because it's easier. Slytherin isn't a kind place, and the easiest way to fit in is just to go along with the popular option. I don't care one bit about blood purity or house politics, I just want to get my NEWTs here and be gone."

"So all that bitching is just an act, a disguise?"

"I don't like your friends if that's what you're asking. Not because of their families, but because Granger is an obnoxious know-it-all and Weasley makes a troll look like a shining example of chivalry. I might respect Granger for being top of our year, but the way she sucks up to the teachers would shame a house elf. I honestly don't know what you see in them."

"Ron is fun to be around, always good for a game or just to relax. And Hermione, well she was the only one who stood with me back during the tournament."

"Do you love her?"

"Like the sister I never had, or maybe even more - I wouldn't know. She's a lifesaver, both figuratively and literally. But I don't want to bend her over the nearest table if that's what you are asking."

"So you haven't even thought about taking her in the library, pressed against a shelf, your hand on her mouth so you don't get caught?" Pansy wanted to know, the circles she had been tracing on his stomach moving lower and lower.

"The thought might have crossed my mind once or twice."

"What else have you been thinking about?"

"Angelina - Angelina Johnson. Everyone always got dressed as fast as they could after showering, but she always took her time. Walked around naked, her body still wet and shining. Didn't care one bit that we saw her naked. She would talk to Alicia and Katie, or dry her hair first while giving everyone else a show. And last year she gave a good part of her instructions naked."

"So you would think about her?" the Slytherin asked as she ghosted her fingernails over Harry and made him shiver. Pansy was fascinated by the reactions she could draw out of him and moved from his stomach to his inner thigh, which certainly had an effect on him.

"Angie is at least a head taller than me. I'd imagine how she would just - just use me. Ride - ride my face and all I could see were her muscles. I never thought that abs would look good on a girl, but on her - " Harry froze when Pansy's breath hitched and her nails dug into his balls.

"Have you ever thought about a Slytherin?"

"Greengrass - She always looks so cold, like she isn't even there and I'd love to just - "

"Make her scream your name, watch her become completely undone, turn her into a drooling, screaming mess?"

"God, yes!"

"She brings out that side in everyone. By Morgana, I can't tell you how often I wanted to shove four fingers up her cunt just to see her lose her cool, to wipe that annoying smirk from her face. I don't know how Millicent can actually like her."

"I thought that she was your friend," Harry pointed out, confusion mixing with his growing arousal.

"You don't make many friends in Slytherin, or at least most people do not. You gain useful connections who wouldn't hesitate to curse you from behind if it furthered their own goals."

"And to think that the Sorting Hat wanted me there - "

"Really?" Pansy asked softly with genuine curiosity.

"Yeah, I knew next to nothing about the houses, but I had just met Malfoy and he had made an impression, so I begged for anywhere but Slytherin."

"We would have eaten you alive," Pansy laughed but her haughty act was ruined by the hand she was running over his manhood.

"You are welcome to try."

"Merlin that was bad," the Slytherin chuckled and swung a leg over his hips, straddling him. Perhaps it was the exhaustion, or the sight of her tits just inches in front of him, but Harry blurted out a question before he could even think about it.

"Pansy, will - will you go out - with me?"

When she lowered herself onto him, the Gryffindor was overwhelmed by the sensation, his eyes darting all over her naked form. They must have been at it for more than an hour but if anything, Pansy kept getting more entrancing. Her skin was glistening with sweat, her black hair was a mess and there were love bites all over her neck and collarbone. But perhaps most importantly, that was all his handy work.

"Yes - "

Harry cut her off with a searing kiss but quickly lost control of the situation when she ran her tongue across his lower lip and rocked her hips forwards before sliding back until he was buried to the hilt.

"What about the others? Won't they - "

"Fuck them!"

"I'd rather fuck you," the Slytherin replied with a Cheshire grin.

"And  _you_ complained about  _my_ pun."

* * *

Hermione Granger considered herself a smart and observant witch, which was the reason why her hands were shaking. Sure, things had been tense between her best friend and herself, but surely he would have told her about something that important. A dark corner of her mind came up with the idea that the whole thing was some sinister plot to deliver him to Voldemort or maybe even drive him to a suicide by trapping him into a toxic marriage.

The letters, dumped in her lap by a pair of Ministry owls, had been clear and yet raised more questions than they answered. First of all, they congratulated Harry and Pansy of all people to their marriage. Which she promptly dismissed as some kind of administrative error, or maybe a practical joke. Well, until her second read-through revealed several details which she had overlooked at first. Like calling Pansy  _Lady Black nee Parkinson_  or the mention of a marriage contract, a copy attached to the letter. After looking over that, her irritation had turned into outright fury and the desire to curse all signatories was only held at bay by the worry over her friend. She could always introduce Malfoy to the Centaurs later.

The longer Hermione thought about it, the more it sounded like the sort of mess Harry would end up in. She needed to find out more. She needed to find her best friend, even if things have been a little tense between them recently. This was more important than any potion book or blonde pounce.

Her abrupt departure from the Great Hall might have looked suspicious, even if her face revealed absolutely nothing. The way to Gryffindor Tower had never felt as long as that morning, and when she made her way up to the sixth year dorms, there was no one to be found there. Harry's bed was pristine, meaning that the hadn't slept there last night. Seeing no other alternative, Hermione borrowed the Marauder Map and retreated to her dorm to track him down.

Nearly all students had made it down to the Great Hall, fixed meal times ensuring that everyone would wake up early, even during weekends. It was quite easy to find the few students skipping the food, and she noticed that Harry wasn't one of them. But maybe…

"Show me Harry Potter."

It took Hermione a moment to notice the weak glow of the seventh-floor walls and another to realise that it was the area around the Room of Requirement. But there was another question, one she almost didn't dare to voice.

"Show me Pansy Parkinson."

The faint glow disappeared and then absolutely nothing happened, few blots of ink shuffled through the corridors without a care in the world, oblivious to her rising dread. The lack of a response offered little comfort as her mind came up with a new, even more sickening thought.

"Show me Pansy Black," the Gryffindor tried again, grimacing at the new name. It sounded like something one of those rappers from the underground scene her cousin liked and the thought of Pansy dressed like a Muggle, like a wannabe gangster on top of that, was enough to put the first smile of the day on her face before reality caught up with her again. Her best friend was, most likely, married, to Draco Malfoy's girlfriend nonetheless. Had they been having a sordid affair the whole time? No, after the mess with Cho hadn't shown any interest in girls and remained completely oblivious when Katie tried to flirt with him.

A witch on a mission once more, the Gryffindor stormed through the corridors towards the seventh floor. Peeves tried to prank her by tripping a suit of armour on her, but Hermione wasn't in the mood and banished the fifty pounds of steel back at him, sword and pointy helmet first. To get the point across, she followed up with a jet of flames which scorched the wall behind the poltergeist, who wisely chose to retreat.

* * *

Still fuming, she reached the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, tore the door open and froze. Hermione wasn't exactly sure what she had wanted to do, but the sight on the other side took the wind from her sails. First of all, she was no longer inside the castle but stood on a plain with tall grass which shone red and gold in the morn's early light. Northern lights danced across the darker half of the sky, green and purple against the rising sun. A narrow band of orange hung to the horizon which gave way to cyan and even darker shades of blue the further Hermione looked up. The sea couldn't be too far, a soft breeze carried the crashing of the waves against a cliff.

It was a completely surreal experience and immediately reminded her of a Holodeck, only with magic. Hermione berated herself for never experimenting with the room, never testing its true capabilities. Clearly, there was a lot of untapped potential and she itched to explore it. Well, after sorting out the current mess Harry found himself in. From the inside, the entrance door was an arch of rough flagstones, like a ruined gate of a small village or a big farmstead. She noticed a bed in between tall grass and two people who slept in it. The Gryffindor decided that there was no time to dally around anymore and strode towards it with determined steps. The air surrounding the bed was surprisingly warm, but the far bigger revelation was on top of it.

Naked as on the day they had been born and snuggled closely together, were her best friend and the brunette Slytherin. Without the bulky robes and the scornful expression, Pansy seemed smaller, more vulnerable than Hermione had her ever seen before. And yet the biggest change had happened to Harry. For the first time in perhaps years, she saw him completely relaxed, a content smile on his face as he hugged Parkinson - hugged Black in his sleep.

Hermione took a step back to get a better picture of whatever had happened last night and make sure that her friend was alright. However, she froze once her eyes adjusted to the dim light. There was plenty of evidence of their nocturnal activities dried on Pansy's thigh, hickeys all over their chests and Harry's shoulders looked like Crookshanks had used him as a scratching post. And yet, Harry actually looked happy, they both looked happy. If not for the letter in her hand, she would probably find the entire scene adorable.

This was far from the first time she had walked in on people, but the ones she had caught during her prefect rounds had been shagging, never bothered to remove more clothes than strictly necessary. Driven by primal instincts, those couples had been rutting like animals, trying to be done before somebody like her would catch them.

The scene in front of her, on the other hand, felt far more intimate, if not even loving, and she felt bad for having to disturb them, even Parkinson. Well, at the very least she could do something for what little remained of their modesty. But after a nearby rock became a blanket and she freshened the pair up with magic, there was nothing which would excuse further delaying.

* * *

"Harry, you need to wake up."

"Leave'be. Gimme ten minutes."

"Harry, it's important!"

"Tell Voldemort to bugger Malfoy some more, I wanna sleep."

A sleepy chuckle escaped from the Slytherin next to him, but her friend refused to leave Morpheus' realm.

"This is not about Voldemort. The Ministry - just read this!"

Hermione realised that she had chickened out in the last moment, but really, how was she supposed to tell him about the contents of the letter. Bearing bad news was already horrible, but " _Wake up you're married"_  would really not do. It was much easier if they just found out on their own. Well, easier for her at least.

Within a minute, the brunette had both woken up and reading their letters as a tense silence hung over the trio. Harry was more than a little sleepy and only stayed awake because she kept poking his side.

"This can't be - But how?"

The honest shock in Pansy's voice made it obvious that this had not been some elaborate scheme to trap Harry in a marital bond. Hermione suddenly felt a wave of sympathy for the girl, who had clearly not wanted this turn of events, but forced it down because her friend took priority.

"I don't - Oh. Oh. Awww fuck!"

"What?" Both witches demanded to know at the same time.

"Pansy, do you lose your inheritance if you are in Azkaban without a conviction?"

"No, but you can't end up there without a conviction," she replied hesitantly, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"Well, Sirius did, and since he left me everything - "

"Wait, Sirius as in Sirius Black?

"Uhm, yes?"

"You mean that story Dumbledore spun was actually true?" Pansy asked, her eyebrows raised. She actually showed a bigger reaction to that piece of news than to her marriage notice.

"Of course it is, why would you think otherwise?"

"Because it sounds just like what he used to bail Snape out of jail, which no one bought."

"Oh."

"You think that Sirius made you his heir and therefore the contract Malfoy made applied to you? But wouldn't someone have notified you about that?" Hermione thought out loud and was startled when Harry answered her.

"Well, Dumbledore told me that Sirius left me everything."

"And he had been reinstated as Chief Warlock after Fudge resigned, so that would certainly count as government notice."

* * *

"So we are married?" Harry wanted to know, desperate to break the awkwardness when no one knew what to say.

"Yes."

"Due to a contract between Narcissa Malfoy and Pansy's  _sire_."

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Pansy echoed and stared at the wizard, at her _husband_.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a good marriage looks like. Well, I guess there are the Weasleys, but I really don't want to be that whipped and while the whole love potion thing worked for Molly and Arthur, I really don't want to try that. The Dursleys have never been a happy family so there is really no - "

"Oh Harry!" the brunette sighed, launched herself at him and tried to convey her support where words failed her.

"Hermione, I'm naked under here!" Beyond mortified, Harry tried to squirm away and get some distance between them, but his friend was having none of it and kept him in a tight hug.

"That's what you're worried about? You - You are having an affair with Malfoy's girlfriend, whom you accidentally married - and where do you think that blanket came from?"

"Malfoy only got this far in his dreams, and thank Morgana for that!" Pansy chuckled, which startled the Gryffindors, who had forgotten that they were not alone. "This also explains where certain rumours come from."

"Rumours?"

"That you were loose and would take both of your friends. Some even say both at the same time - "

"WHAT? That's - that is not at all - " Hermione spluttered, her face doing a good imitation of Gryffindor red.

"But you have thought about it, right?"

"I - I, I would never - "

"Oh Morgana, you really thought about that, didn't you? Did you get all wet and - "

"Pansy, knock it off," Harry cut in before things became ugly.

"Sorry, I - I am a little on edge right now," the Slytherin mumbled loud enough for the two best friends to hear.

"Right now? Try all the time - "

"ANYWAY, as I was trying to say, I have no idea what a good marriage is like, just what it is not supposed to be." Harry paused for a moment and tried to find Pansy's hand under the blanket but ended up on her lower back instead. "From what you have told me, your idea also sucks. Marriage is not supposed to be about political gains or family connections. So why don't we simply forget all of that and see what works for us?"

"You mean that? You are not mad?" Pansy wanted to know, hope shining in her eyes as she gazed into Harry's.

"Well, I read the whole contract and didn't think that it could apply to me. If anything, you should be mad at me that you are married to me instead of free as you'd expected."

The Gryffindor tried to play his worries off as a joke but ended up sounding hoarse, which drew the attention of both witches.

"You really think that? Harry, you just said how I envisioned marriage and now you think that you would be a burden?"

Hermione looked like she wanted to interrupt but Pansy spoke again before she could gather her thoughts.

"I would have appreciated some forewarning, but you won't hear me complain about this."

"I - I feel the same - " Harry trailed off once Pansy began to stroke his inner thigh.

"Honestly, how can you two just accept this? You are MARRIED!"

"The contract only says that we are, not - not what that means for us. Besides, I have something to look forward to," Harry replied with a glance down his  _wife's_ cleavage. The slight blush on her cheeks matched the lovely colour of her nipples and he could feel his self-control slipping.

"BUT - Oh. Do you - Should I leave you alone?" Hermione wanted to know but the  _newlyweds_ no longer paid her any attention as Pansy pulled her husband into an intimate kiss, completely ignoring that the brunette still sat on the edge of their bed or could see her naked. "I'll leave you two to it then. Should I save you a seat during lunch or will - Oh! Nevermind me. I will - I will see you later - Much later."

**Author's Note:**

> Due to popular demand on FFN, I am writing a second chapter dealing with the immediate aftermath.


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